We've all seen the news headlines kicking off at Black Friday sales about customers battling in the retail store to get the latest toy, best sale price and super saving deal.
It's a scenario retailers abhor given potential safety issues, impact on store associates and the bad customer experience that comes into play.
While it's most notable during the holiday season the consumer tension factor is an increasing challenge for retailers as well store staffs and the goal of providing a rewarding customer experience.
Retail Customer Experience reached out to Christine Miles, author of the book, " What Is It Costing You Not To Listen: The Power of Understanding to Connect, Influence, Solve & Sell," in an email interview for tips on how retailers can avoid arguments and tension with the customer base.
Where the tension lies
Q. Has retail holiday tension been increasing since the pandemic — and is it purely in brick and mortar or does it also include online support and retail call centers?
A. Stress and tension during the holidays are not a new phenomenon. Research over the years has consistently shown that stress increases during the holiday season, with eight in 10 Americans saying the expectations and events around the holidays cause them to feel increased stress. The latest statistics show 48% of Americans report money is the biggest cause of their holiday stress.
While holiday tensions are not new, general, stress, anxiety and depression have increased since the pandemic, adding fuel to the holiday stress fire. The World Health Organization reported in 2022 that there was a 25% spike in global anxiety and depression. Additionally, increased remote work has led to decreased daily social interactions with co-workers and greater isolation even though we are no longer in forced locked down. Even though remote work is often preferred, the consequences of spending less time with others seem to have led to a reduction in social awareness and tolerance when in our social interactions. We are suffering a lowered communal tolerance for interacting with others, people's emotional fuses are shorter, people seem less patient, and apt to take time to engage kindly with one another. Retail is enduring the most of brunt of this collective emotional stress.
Potential strategies
Q. What can a retailer do to ease the tension — training, HR programs. etc.?
A. Dealing with tense and stressed-out customers requires the emotional skills to navigate the difficult emotions of their customers to a positive outcome. It is critical to train retail teams to learn to listen in a way that reflects the customer's experience, regardless of whether the customer is right, help them feel seen. When associates learn the emotional skill of truly listening, they are better equipped to diffuse these emotionally latent situations. By investing in listening training retailers become connected to their customers in a different way gaining and retaining customers for life.
Q. What can a retail store manager do on the more local level to help reduce tension for store associates?
A. Associates' experience the same holiday stress and tension their customers feel, with the added difficulty of being exposed to complaining customers daily. Research shows that being complained to for 30 minutes or more, can physically damage your brain, turning your brain to mush and increasing the chances you will behave similarly. Local retailers need to counteract the effects of these negative interactions. One suggestion is to have regular debrief meetings with your associates to discuss their feelings about their customer interactions. However, rather than focusing on the difficult customer situations, have them share stories of their best and most positive moments and interactions with their customer. Shifting the focus from what has gone wrong, to what has gone right, is an antidote to the negativity that can have a lasting impact and hurt employee satisfaction and retention.
Tips to manage tension
Q. What are some tips to defuse tension with holiday shoppers?
A. Tip No. 1: Let go of the mantra "the customer is always right." This message puts associates in a one down and often no-win position with the customer and can lead to associates feeling demoralized and/or the need to tolerate bad behavior from a customer. Change the mantra to "the customer must feel understood." The most effective way to diffuse difficult customers is to listen to understand both their feelings and situation, rather than telling them they are right.
Tip No. 2: Put emotional language into your sales process. Instead of just asking your customers how they are doing, ask them how they are feeling? The benefits of asking how someone is feeling is that it normalizes negative emotions and experiences by allowing them into the open. We are all human, struggling with the stresses of life and the holidays. Connecting on a feeling level with customers not only diffuses tensions, but it also makes their shopping experience with you different and memorable.
Tip No. 3: Stop saying you understand. The words I understand have little to do with understanding and can lead to a customer being more argumentative than less. Why? If you say you to a customer you understand, but the customer doesn't feel understood, it leads to a more combative customer. Instead, say, "let me see if I get you…?" Then, summarize their concern, including their feelings, in 30 seconds or so, and again say to the customer, "do I get you?" This gives the control to the customer to decide if they feel understood and creates a cooperative approach to helping the customer feel understood versus a competitive one.